"it's not that i don't want , it's that i really can't. i'm not born with it. "

should work doubly hard , i need to. i have no other route to go.
so much things that i can't even do , feels so worthless at times .
stressed.
i felt the big difference , the big gap.
felt my lows , experienced your highs.
felt the cruelty of it.
what to do? this is MY life.

need tonnes of actions to change it. tonnes of effort to mould it back in shape.
but i think it takes a longer time to piece myself back in shape.

junhao should stop thinking about all these negative things? right?
there's much more in life other than these..
but all these is definitely needed to survive.
what can i do? :/
feels so paranoid.

nevertheless , i still have you around me. there's always that someone that's there for me.
the one that pieced me back... i need you always.. the one that i gave my all..
the one that changed for me , be the best of herself , for me..

now in my life , other than my family.
another one was that true friend.. that has never failed me..
believed me , know me and never looked down on me..
the one that i could talk to him about , my deepest feelings..

now i don't know what will happen to me , if i lost any one of them.
maybe everything won't be the same anymore.. junhao will not be junhao , heart would not be true.
dream will never be reality anymore.. give me more life.. give me courage.. give me strength to carry on...
give me that glimpse of hope to turn my life around... i need a hand.. i need you..

eternity.